You finally broke things off and now you can’t stop noticing that nagging feeling that something doesn’t feel right. You wonder if you made the biggest mistake of your life, and you’re even contemplating if you should get back together. But should you? You spent weeks, maybe month agonizing over this decision, and it seemed like such a good idea at the time. Here are 3 tried-and-true actions you can take right now to get clarity on whether you did the right thing, and feel great in the process:
1. Instantly transform your feelings of emptiness and loneliness into excitement and fulfillment by doing something thrilling.
If you are feeling empty and lonely without him, chances are you felt a little empty and lonely when you were with him. Maybe that’s even why you decided to break things off. The only way you are going to figure out whether he’s right for you is to fill yourself up first and then reevaluate. To jump start that, call up a few friends right now and invite them to do something new that will get your adrenaline pumping and create a state of fullness and balance. A thrilling activity is perfect for this: Skydiving, hang gliding, a spontaneous trip to Rio, a night out on the town wearing crazy costumes, crashing a party, an unplanned road trip. It will also remind you how much fun you can have with each other without your former honey. Try it. How do you feel now?
2. Get in touch with your dreams and start creating a future without him that inspires you right now.
Do you feel depressed and scared when you think about your future, and he’s not in it? Go get a stack of magazines, a pair of scissors, a glue stick and a big piece of poster board. Flip through the magazines and cut out the pictures that inspire you and remind you of your biggest dreams for the future – your career, your house, that vacation you’ve always wanted to take, that secret thing you’ve always wanted to do. Make a collage and put it up somewhere that you’ll look at it every day. No, I’m not advocating that things will magically happen like they do in “The Secret.” I’m simply suggesting that you remind yourself daily about what’s important to you so that you’ll focus on that instead of what you think is missing. Next, pick three of those dreams and enlist a friend to be your accountability partner in realizing them. Every day, choose one action to do that gets you a little closer to each dream, and email or text your friend to confirm that you did that thing. You’ll feel a huge surge in motivation and excitement for the future the minute you take the very first action. Once you get in touch with that you’ll know more about whether the future is really supposed to include him.
3. Remind yourself how much of a catch you are by putting on your hottest outfit every time you leave the house and smiling at everyone you see.
One of the most common reasons we regret breaking up with our man is that we worry that we lost the best thing that will ever happen to us, and that we’ll never find someone as good as he was, even though he wasn’t good enough for us to want to stay with him. Trust me on this one – it’s never true. What you need to do is remind yourself of what a fabulous catch you are, and how many endless possibilities are out there. Find your favorite outfit, starting with your most beautiful lingerie, and put it on. Take a luxurious bath instead of your normal quick shower. Do your hair the way you’d do it for a New Year’s Eve party and enjoy your ‘do for a few days. Do your nails. If you have the time and money, go get a massage. Get into the habit of feeling gorgeous every time you leave the house. When you are out, smile flirtatiously with everyone you see. Everyone! Enjoy exchanging this energy with them – it doesn’t have to mean anything. Feel how attractive you are. And know that when you’re ready, the perfect man is around the corner. If you really get that, do you still want him back?
Try these 3 things and leave me a comment about your experience!