Watch out. When you decide to take space and move on, chances are, he will resist. After all, if he didn’t want you around at all, you wouldn’t be in this situation. Because making a conscious, well thought out decision to break up requires that you are centered in yourself, in touch with yourself, and possibly feeling great about yourself, congratulations, you’ve just become 100 times more attractive than you were when you were feeling unsure, and men are going to flock to you.
Suddenly, you may find he’s very interested in getting back together in some way, whether it’s spending more time together, continuing to have sex regardless of the arrangement, reaching out more often, and so on. The thing to take note of is this: This is your decision, not his. You have to take a stand for what you need, because he’s not going to. You are responsible for your health and well being, and this is something you are choosing to do for yourself.
Do not fall into the trap of changing your mind because of this new behavior, because, you guessed it, soon after you change your mind, he is going to go right back to being however he was before. Which isn’t necessarily wrong or mean of him, but it will play with your mind and your emotions and you will undo all of the great progress you’ve made toward figuring out what you want.
This is where your friends can help you. Have them hold you accountable to your commitment. It’s going to be tempting to give it up once he proposes the many options he is sure to come up with to prevent him from having to give you up. After all, who wants to give you up? You’re wonderful. Just keep reminding yourself of this – you’re wonderful, and that’s why he’s doing this. And that’s fine. You can still walk away. And if he supports you, it just means that he’s wonderful. It’s a win-win situation.
The moral of this story is that when it comes to deciding to break up with your boyfriend, he’s not going to stick to it for your benefit – you have to get committed to staying apart, regardless of how he feels. Only you are responsible for the outcome.